the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
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We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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