so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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