Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
