so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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