Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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