yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
