Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
