We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You may now shotgun with the bride
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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