at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
