Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
