I want to make a zoo with you.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
