I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
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She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
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At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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