He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
