Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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