just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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