I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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