we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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