is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think my vagina is haunted
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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