ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
