Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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