Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
