Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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