i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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