I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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