I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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