She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
