What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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