I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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