yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
