That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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