im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize