So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
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I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
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I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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