I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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