I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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