Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
