More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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