so explain again why im purple
no
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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