Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Are we still banned from the library?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
