Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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