You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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