I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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