THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You took a bar mat shot.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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