Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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