is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
