come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
