I need help removing her.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
