Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
