last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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