omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.