oh god the rape fog is back!
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
