just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV