A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no