McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?