you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.