ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.