I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
