My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
