omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
