and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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