I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize