A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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