So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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