I'm lost and stupid without you.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
