is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Randomize
