i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
