You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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