jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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