I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
