im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
